I Carry All Of You In Me (dedicated to Theo Zegers, today 20 years after…)

I Carry All Of You In Me  (music & lyrics: Luna Zegers, June 2010)

Often things ain’t what they look like
And they’re far off from what you expect
Although it may be questioned what it is
That gives me ground to expect something
From who, from what?

So whenever things in life don’t go like
You think they are supposed to have their run
It it human nature to go wonder for the reasons and the rhymes
The why, the what

They say “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
But what happens in between makes you so weak
Anxiety and despair are the perfect pair
Making me believe that it’s all over
Trust is far away and even ’till today
On my darkest days I am alone

I Carry All Of You In Me
I remember every moment when my hope was smashed to pieces
And every time there was less left to lose
I Carry All Of You In Me
All the heartache and the sorrow, all the waiting for tomorrow
Maybe then I would have paid all my dues

One illness came, sat at our table
Ate the food and drank the wine
An unwelcome guest having a good time
Taking twice a life that would still unfold

His job done, he changed faces with another
But the third time it was a hit and run
Leaving me with nothing but the silence of a smoking battlefield
My heart turned cold

Long years of darkness then enclosed me
It seemed I had no future, just a past
Things came to an end, or at least that’s how it felt
Making me believe that it’s all over
Missing what I lost, learning ’bout the cost
Of a life lived in the heart of time

I Carry All Of You In Me
Contrasting youthful innocence with loneliness and bitterness
My truth made that day turned to night
I Carry All Of You In Me
But there were pieces of tomorrow that were no longer drowned in sorrow
I was starting to see some light

One day I could suddenly see a color
It was the deep red of a blooming rose
For years I had been living in all different shades of grey
And than it struck me: I felt alive!

One sensation then led to another
And old memories started coming back
Images of when we were a happy family
With all the aspects of love and trust

They say what belongs to you, you can’t lose it
For the first time in my life that felt so real
You gave me all you got, and god knows it was a lot
Openness and tenderness and freedom
Music filled my heart right there from the start
Giving me the joy to be alive

I Carry All Of You In Me
All your brightness and your colors
All your wishes for tomorrow
And there is nothing that keeps us apart
I Carry All Of You In Me
In the end I am the luckiest of all because I keep you in my heart

Now that I am one.


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